a flower in bloom
What's the lineage between obsession and desire? Between consumption and preservation?
Summer was the test.
I like that scripting stage of the script because you really have like no pictures. So, you kind of have nothing to judge on, you just have to go on your imagination and you have to make up these things in the process of summoning up reality, you have to be able to source these emotions into feelings, into making something real and true. And, I think that lack of imagination is a terrible disease and maybe I should start writing better stories. I feel I'm self-confident enough to do this while I'm still young, and wanting to let myself go. We had a lot of fun, and it wasn't difficult because I didn't trust myself. We love the music in the movies, our memories are still protected and shared. So, yeah its cool
I love being able to make a film because it is based on what people see you can do and not on who you are. You don't have to have an advantage when you go into the room, because it's based on what you can do as a person, what you can do with your talents, what you can do as ability. And, it is so great to be in an atmosphere where people are generally interested in what you do as a person. It feels like the edge of prejudice is bounced off the wall and up to the moon, like it's out of this world. It's a high, like no other. And, it just feel so great. I think that's why it is so hard to leave the films, and why I am so depressed after I finish one or for that sake, leave anything that holds a true emotional intensity with me, because when its over, its over. You don't have those talks with those people anymore or at least not on the same level as you did when you both were going for the same. You have to start over and it can be horrible, if you are down or when you really connected with the people and then you realize its time for them to go. So, now I'm feeling even more excited to try and make every moment the best and try to enjoy everybody that I'm around because it's so short and so fleeting and you know...what's the word, starts with an E, i don't know but it's something, that, ephemeral
i feel blessed to be able to sit and remember that feeling on a day like today when the cameras are not recording and the people are far away
all the best, April
* p.s. nat n alex's new CD, black sheep, so so amazing, check it out
