I'm tired of being in the spirit of the Lord, my God everyday and still having to be emotionally bound by my consumption of weed. There has to be something that connects to me at a deeper level, so that my spirit will have peace - at a higher capacity. When being gaged with the conflicts of my spirit, I love to have a smoke, this is how I got in this situation, weed brings peace to my physical (body) and psychological (mind) sense. But, I am learning that I can't just play with my mind and touch the ineffectual senses of my body and expect to prosper in my spirit. So, now that the days have took my ganja, I get upset in my spirit and I lose peace within myself and with God. My mind gets stressed out, where I can't even sleep at night, drinking just to calm myself down, listening to the same songs over and over and still getting nowhere. I know, y'all ain't never been here. For the weapons of warfare are not carnal, but are born out of the spirit. We are not mighty in flesh, and this year, this addiction has got to get off of me. Because God is doing something crazy in my life..that is getting me out of the box. And when I step out, I need everything in my power to be in check. I will not let my spirit be taken for granted. Thank you Jesus for providing me with strength. I'm about to step into a realm of blessings that even my haters can't stop, and I need to be prepared. I declare this year will be beyond what I can even think, dream, or dare to imagine. How do I know this? Because, God has done it before. As of today, I'm not gonna worry about it, because with all this being said, I'm still here by the grace of God, and 2012 has been testing my manifestation for being blessed. So, I speak unto everything that holds up my character, in the voice of Lil Wayne, stop throwing pebbles at a bulletproof glass. You can't stop me. And, just think if you haven't been under attack, you ain't been fighting for shit. 

Stay blessed, April 

* Don't me get wrong, I still enjoy having weed, but I want to get to the point, where I can I have it and it doesn't have me. I got into it, out of depression, and I'm not depressed anymore. So, I need to strike of sense of balance within it and myself, and sometimes the best way to propagate structure is to tear the whole thing down and start building again on a new and stable foundation. Best xx